by RYAN BUYNAK

A few years ago, I was introduced to the wonderfully weird sounds of Electric Six by a beautiful Israeli man, who became one of my best buds, and I cannot believe right now I get to bother, Dick Valentine, the lead singer of said band. This edition of Bothering the Band is especially special because I am seeing that beautiful Israeli man tomorrow and he is going to laugh his ass off at this connection. Mr. Dick Valentine had no idea how much this interview meant to me, but it was a complete pleasure to ask him some silly questions. Hope you folks enjoy like I did.

When’s the last time you had Taco Bell?

Pretty sure it would have been last year on tour in Flint, MI, before our show at the Machine Shop. A few of us went to Guitar Center to get supplies and then we only had so much time left to grab dinner. Taco Bell has upped their game a little bit, so I signed off on it.

I try not to eat fast food...for instance, I have not had McDonald’s since 1997. But when you are on tour and driving through Nebraska, Kansas, Wyoming, etc...the options are limited. For about a decade in those situations, I always opted for Subway and Subway only….but have recently allowed myself the odd Taco Bell here or there to mix it up.

I really doubt I will ever be on death row, but…if I was in that situation and was offered a last meal, no question, I’d ask for about $30 worth of Taco Bell….hangman’s choice. 

Have you ever been electrocuted?

I think so. 

What did you want to be when you were six?

Catwoman .

What is your favorite Valentine’s Day candy?

I don’t know. 

Dick Van Dyke or Dick Clark?

Dick Clark for real. I mean…the guy was unstoppable for a good long while. And he really sold us on the importance of ranking music. Actually, I’ll never forgive him for that.  

What’s the weirdest place you’ve heard your own music playing?

Russia. That’s just the weirdest place, regardless of what music I’m hearing.  And I've heard my own music there, so....

If you owned a bar, what would it be called?

There’s a brokedick Chinese takeaway at the end of my block called Hood Hing. It’s my dream to buy it, keep the awning, and turn into a bar called Hood Hing: The Bar!!!!!! 

How would you decide a tie in a high stakes bet?

You mean like the upcoming US election? I don’t know, I guess I’d start by ramming through a like-minded Supreme Court justice and in the run up to the election which polls continuously show I am not going to win, whine like a baby about the system is rigged. Also, I’d encourage an overmedicated, highly-armed electorate to rise up and hit the streets.  

Do you have a go-to dad joke?

Three dads jump off the Empire State Building.  

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Not yet, but willing to try!