Bothering the Band - King Khan
by RYAN BUYNAK
King Khan has been rocking audiences and eardrums with the most fantastic mix of funky soul and love-drunk garage rock with his infinite bands like The King Khan & BBQ Show (his duo with Mark Sultan), and especially with his hoof-stomping psych outfit King Khan and The Shrines for decades, and we were beyond psyched to bother the Supreme Genius during these wacky times, as he is stretching his legs by launching the goodwill cause Global Solidarity Forever. For anyone new to King Khan’s music, get ready because once he has you in his black magic spell, there is no turning back and you can never stop grooving. Forever.
The Lion King or James Caan?
Hmmmm...how about Repo Man and/or Emilio Estefan, the love child of Martin Sheen and Gloria Estefan...come on baby do the apocalypse conga.
Have you ever eaten snake meat?
Hell yes, I am a Khannibal, hence the name of my label. I have drank cobra blood and eaten its spinal chord; I have also eaten mantis shrimp, but felt very guilty afterwards cuz it didn’t taste as colorful as it looks, but snake was delicious – ficken, fish and chicken – yum yum!
Do you know how to change a tire?
No, I am not so reliable behind or underneath any wheels. I don’t even have a cell phone, so I am “as useless as a parasite” in the words of Mary Ocher.
What’s the capital city called in the Land of the Freak?
Algiers, Germany aka Neu Koln.
What exactly does welfare bread taste like?
Like white power...errrm, I mean white flour, which is basically nutritionless and made to further diabetes and disease in the land of the poor. It’s the fodder of the prison industrial complex and great in pancakes, if you wanna die, motherfucker!
When on the road, what’s your favorite place to go or thing to do in any given town during the day?
Ooh, I love crank phone calling Waffle Houses in different time zones and telling them I am a gas inspector and that they need to empty the fridge right away and check for a gas leak. Then ask them if they have a cigarette lighter and ask for the serial number of each appliance. Bon appetit!
What’s your least favorite food at a BBQ?
Anything with canned corn, meat salad, cold cuts. Bbq watermelon is a total waste of melons, like the Kardashian Klu Klux Kanye Klan.
What’s the most noticeable difference between the Montreal art scene and the Berlin art scene?
Montreal is full of poser wannabes who aren’t from Montreal, like that band that David Bowie loves...Fire Arcade or Of Montreal. Berlin is full of wannabes that are from everywhere else in the world. I don't belong to any art scene except Colemanism, where I have been ordained by the ruler of my universe Joe Coleman. Oh, and did I mention Mike Diana just made this (below) for me? He is my fave, after Robert Crumb.
Do you have a fun nickname for your wife?
Yes, many. Larlin’ works both ways, just simply Babe pronounced like Tommy Lee when he asks if Pamela was preggos. Lil Mama is her ultimate title. We have names for certain body parts, but that isn't for public consumption.
When’s the last time you rode a donkey?
How did you know that is what I call my wife? Just kidding, I am her donkey, hung like a horse, dumb as a Gucci purse. The only donkey experience I had was I approached one baked and it got a boner; it scarred me for life.