Cool or Cringe?

by Lo-Fi Lauren

What is your love language? Why do we even need to define such a thing? Can we all not just exist, expressing love freely as we feel we should in that moment? Can I ever just stop asking existential questions for once in my life?

As of right now, there are 5 known love languages that we all fall category to: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. While I'm a quality time gal myself, I do find that I use something else as a means of expressing love far more often than I find myself sipping on a glass of somewhat frozen wine (judge me) while watching a good movie with my significant other: sharing music.

How it all Began

I was raised in a very artistic, musical family. My earliest memory is 3 year old me, sitting in a stroller, watching my parents "turn up" at a Ted Nugent concert. I grew up constantly needing new headphones and portable CD players (thank God for the early 2000s am I right?) because of the way I'd delicately balance myself riding a bike while blasting my CDs at the same time, a task no child of this era will ever understand. I can still think back to the days of my father dropping me off at school in his work van, myself listening to my brother's Eiffel 65 CD or my sister's Hellogoodbye EP, which was coincidentally the very first FYE purchase I ever made at 8 years old, not to mention the fact that these 2 groups accurately depict my taste in music now. So as you can imagine, music has been playing a major role in my life for, well, my entire life. It would only make sense that I use it as a means of communication with potential life partners. But more often than not, it turns into a real "at first, but then" moment for them. You know, as in at first, they think it's dope. But then....well you get it.

So...is it Cool or Cringe?

If you were to ask me whether sharing music should in fact be a love language or not, I think you already know what my answer would be. I think it's cool, and not even necessarily for the musical factor of it as much as the psychological factor behind it. When you listen to a song, it takes you places inside your mind. It is within these places that we build a home for ourselves; we explore. There is a certain heart string associated with the music that resonates with us. For me to dig deep down inside of myself, go to that place, and share it with you? Well, that's something pretty special. Not only that, but I wanna put myself in your shoes and hear the songs you love. I wanna go to those places together. I don't know about you, but I've always been the type to scramble when I get into a car with someone as they say "here, play something." Like what? You're giving me THIS honor right now? So soon? But we just met! And if they don't like a certain song as much as I do? Forget it. I'm officially embarrassed for the rest of the date, as well as the rest of my existence.

The Cringe Factor

As much as I side with my fellow music-sharing-sillies, I do understand the cringe factor in all of this. To me, it's not cringe in the slightest. However, I have dated some pretty "logical" thinkers, if you will, who don't grasp the concept at all. They"ve told me that they are "too busy" to listen but tHeY WiLL lAtEr, or that they "don't get it." I even had an ex-boyfriend who, in the middle of a fight over who-knows-what, got even angrier at me because I sent him the song entitled "No One's Gonna Love You" by a Band of Horses (he accused me of trying to say that he's unlovable? Damn dude I was just trying to be lighthearted!) So, I get it. Maybe it's a sort of love language solely reserved for fellow creatives. Or maybe it's us creatives who must convert the lost and uncultured? I digress.

They're Missing Out

At the end of the day, music shows us all more about ourselves than we think it does. Can you even imagine what type of music Hayao Miyazaki listens to when he animates? Bill Gates or Elon Musk? I heard that Will Smith is literally a secret metalhead. Post Malone? He used to be a hardcore vocalist. Maybe we should ask the hard questions...what do you think Jeffrey Dahmer listened to? (Actually, I don't wanna know.) I feel like he really liked Beethoven for some reason. You guys can keep your "you're doing great sweetie"-s and your "can I see you laters", I'm about to send the love of my life the most fire drum n bass song he's ever heard.