by RYAN BUYNAK

A renaissance woman in every sense of the word, Noël Wells is a writer, a director, a comedian, and an accomplished musician. Best known for her stint on Saturday Night Live, an appearance on Master of None and her feature film Mr. Roosevelt, Wells is telling stories in a new way – music. Her debut album dropped this year to lauded acclaim, plus it is just damn good. There is nothing she can’t do, including answering our questionable questions. She was so gracious to let us bother her, and we are very thankful.

If all the birds stopped singing, how long would it take you to notice?

I’m insanely sensitive to sound, so almost immediately I’d feel like something was off but probably wouldn’t quite know what. At first I’d wonder if I did something wrong, did I leave the stove on? Did I accidentally run over a child the night before and I don’t remember? Should I call someone and apologize? After I had a panic attack, I’d probably figure it out, like, the next day.

Diaeresis or umlaut?

100 percent diaeresis but people don’t know that word so umlaut it is.

What’s something you don’t mess with in Texas?

PROPERTY, LOL.

Have you ever been to a concert on Roosevelt Island?

Never ever.

What would you ask for in a wishing well?

That things work out for everyone.

A dog in Brooklyn or a cat in Silver Lake?

YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING HERE!

How many tabs do you have open on your computer browser right now?

Four. Email, this email, a google search about a person, and an article about how companies monitor their employees internet usage.

When’s the last time you shopped at Hot Topic and what did you buy?

This would have been when I worked at Hot Topic, so last time would be 2005 and I remember buying kawaii pink ballet flats.

What’s your least favorite song by your favorite artist?

My favorite artist is probably John Lennon and I love so many but I really really love “Love is Real”. Lately though I’ve been jamming on Mac Miller’s “Good News” and I think it’s one of the most beautiful songs that has ever existed. Jon Brion is such an empathic producer and genius and coupled with the eventual tragedy it’s almost too human to bear.

9 ADDENDUM: Oops, looking back I read this question wrong…my least favorite song by John Lennon? Probably Revolution 9, not because I hate it per se but because I would absolutely hate anyone who would say that it’s like, their favorite. And my least favorite song by Mac Miller? You know I’m tired of these games, Ryan, why do we have to do stuff like this these dudes are dead man.

Was your sunrise nice today?

I’m typically a sunshine girl, but it was a blurry little gray morning and I didn’t mind it today.